If you follow me on Instagram you already know that we are expecting Baby #2. Experiencing a pregnancy after a miscarriage during my first trimester was the most anxiety filled few months. I shared in this post how I felt after my miscarriage. In April I told my husband I felt like our family was complete with just one kid. To be honest, I was speaking from fear because I did not want to get pregnant again and lose that pregnancy. I have friends have gone through this multiple times and now have healthy babies. Knowing that made me feel slightly guilty for letting fear stop me from trying to have another child but I knew that there was no way I could emotionally handle another loss. I had come to peace with not wanting any more kids but I still needed to let my husband know where I stood on having another child. I also had attended Mom 2.0 conference and attended a breakfast with Dove where I shared how I truly felt and openly talked about the miscarriage. It was a room full of women, each with a story to tell and it was one of the best things that I ever experienced.
Fast forward to May and I just casually took a pregnancy test that I thought was negative. Something tugged at me and I went out and bought another test. I took another test and sure enough that little sucker said “Yes” and I could not believe it. My husband was at work and so I sent him a picture of the test and he was definitely excited and could not believe it. I on the other hand had mixed emotions. I found myself not getting too excited because what if I miscarried this one again. I told myself I would have no emotional attachment until we got to 16 weeks. I miscarried at 13 weeks and so I just wanted to get past 13 weeks. My doctor does not usually see you until you are between 8-11 weeks. I called our nurses line, bless them for dealing with me, and asked if I could just come in. No way I would wait that long and so they scheduled my first appointment at 6 weeks. There was no guarantee that he could see a heartbeat but for my own sanity, I had to go in. I went in every 2 weeks until I was 12 weeks. At each appointment, he reminded me to be hopeful because we were down this path and there was no going back. There was a 50/50 chance on how things would turn out. Each time I went to my appointments, I held my breath as he checked for a heartbeat. Those appointments gave me more anxiety because I always went in expecting to leave with horrible news.
HOPE, which was one word my doctor said to me at each appointment. I often wondered at what point I would feel comfortable that things were going to be ok and he would remind me that I would know in my heart. At my 11 week appointment was when he told me everything looked as good as it was going to look. As he walked out of the exam room he turned and said “Congratulations.” This was the first time in all the weeks we had been hanging out, which at each appointment I reminded him how expensive he was, he had said congratulations. He later revealed how all this was too familiar in his own personal life than he liked to talk to about.
Since my doctor was taking precaution, I did not get to hear the baby’s heartbeat until I was 16 weeks along. I cried when I got in my car because for the first time in months, I felt this heavy load lifted off my shoulders. I finally allowed myself to be excited about the pregnancy and the baby. My husband and I had each told a parent at 12 weeks and then waited to tell the rest of our families and close friends till I was 16 weeks.
Have you had any cravings?
I craved cinnamon raisin bagels during my first trimester. I got sick in the mornings and carbs always seemed to help so I ate carbs. I was tired more during the day time as compared to when I was pregnant with Asher when I felt tired and miserable in the evenings. With Asher, I could only stomach Honey Bunches of Oats cereal, oatmeal, and cottage cheese with fresh fruit. I have not had the same cravings at all. The only thing I can’t stand this pregnancy is coffee which sucks because there are days I just need a little caffeine boost. I have been drinking more sodas than I would like to admit. I always crave the fizz.
When Did You Start Showing
I started showing way before 12 weeks. I had been hiding under flowy dresses (as seen here and here). With Asher I did not start showing until I was almost 6 months and I could also fit into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes till around 6 months. Not this time around. I have been scrambling trying to find clothes that fit. I will be writing a blog post on how to hide a baby bump for anyone who might need to hide a bump. My style this pregnancy has also changed a lot. I have been gravitating towards knit skirts and sweaters. That will most likely be my fall and winter uniform.
Make sure you are following me on Instagram where I will be posting lots of maternity style and also be sharing daily in stories what I am wearing each day to work.
I am beyond thankful for this community.
All Photos: Folchi Creative
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